Story by Maribel Z K

If you are still human, you might have gotten wind of the increase of flesh-eating incidents in the past week. Before you wonder if we are facing the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse, let’s review cannibalism. Check out our handy graphic!

Human cannibals eat human flesh. Necro-cannibalism involves the ingestion of dead human flesh; homicidal-cannibalism involves the ingestion of human flesh before death. Not all cannibals are zombies. But all zombies are cannibals.

History has documented numerous instances of cannibalism; here are some of the most “common” reasons:

1. Religion/superstition/human sacrifice - Asmat people, Polynesian tribes, etc.
2. War – a warrior eats their enemy’s heart to inherit that enemy’s power/spirit or humiliate that enemy’s spirit/culture – World War II Chichi-jima, Leopard Men of West Africa, etc.
3. Torture – Blood Countess of 1560
4. Starvation – Donner party, Jamestown, Rugby team in the Andes, etc.
5. Insanity/Deviancy/Pathology – Jeffrey Dahmer, Idi Amin etc.
6. Art/Entertainment (yes, really) – Dutch TV

The reasons above indicate human choice, albeit irrational and disturbing. Eat X to gain X–A logic, of sorts.

Zombies, flesh eating and either dead or resistant to pain (drug-induced or disease motivated), lack such decision-making. They are simply driven to eat flesh for no other reason than that they must.

Lastly, zombification involves the condition spreading from human to human, either through bite or fluid transfer, sometimes through exposure to chemicals. It’s one thing to have isolated incidents of cannibalism, a worrisome thing when there seems to be a growing geographic prevalence and/or frequency around the time of the Miami zombie incident. Keep in mind that the preponderance of such news can simply be due to the interaction between increased attention by the media and increased Internet searches by curious/worried people. Cannibal crimes have been occurring for years. Watch for trends and patterns.

Is it time to panic?

No. But it’s always time to be prepared. Don’t go on a premature rampage like the guy in Novi. Don’t break the law unless the government has fallen apart.

Even if it’s not quite ZA time, if enough people panic, you might have to worry about live people.

Don’t be scared, be prepared… for the AWESOMENESS that is the Zombie Apocalypse.

Story by John Moore

An update on the zombie attack on the MacArthur Causeway in Miami’s South Beach. Police have named the attacker who was killed with a number of shots after eating off most of the face of the victim. The man’s name is Rudy Eugene.

Apparently, Eugene has a history of violence which led to the breakup of his marriage.

Police are still theorizing that LSD or some kind of synthetic drug causes the assault.

The victim remains in critical condition in the hospital. Police sources say that Eugene ate off 75% of his face, including his eyeballs and nose.

The attack happened on Saturday afternoon. Bystanders who witnessed the attack flagged down a yet unnamed police officer. The police officer drew his service weapon and ordered Eugene to cease. Eugene reportedly growled at the officer and pressed the attack.

The officer then reportedly shot Eugene, which had no effect on him. Witnesses report at least 6 shots used to kill Eugene.

Photo courtesy of Miami Police